A Different Perspective

Everyone knows that challenges in life help you grow, everyone seems to be in agreement with that. However, it occurs to me that happy and good things in your life also help you grow. They strengthen you, and allow you to share joy and good fortune with others. Think about how you feel when something wonderful happens: watching your child in a school play, celebrating reaching a goal that is very important to you, standing on a mountain, watching the sunrise over the peak, shining into the valley below. Those moments filled you with joy, with fulfillment and energy. They gave you the impetus to keep going. Nothing else existed at that time, and you were free from worry, stress and anxiety. In those moments, you were truly present. Contrast that feeling with how you felt when dealing with a particularly difficult challenge. How drained you felt, battling despair, clinging to hope that things will get better. Your mind constantly wrestled with the problem, imagining the worst that could happen, trying to make plans for that possibility.

When you finally overcame that challenge, did you feel happy that it was over, or did you dwell on how awful it was? We tend to hang on to deep feelings that we live through, good or bad. When you experienced your high moments, that happiness probably lifted your spirits for a good while after the experience ended. You didn’t say, “Well, that was fun, but now I want to feel bad, so I’m going to stop feeling happy”. Conversely, when you are coming out of a difficult situation, you have the choice of feeling depressed, victimized and fearful, or of feeling relief, anticipation of better times, and gratitude that things are now better. So, if you have to carry over feelings from an experience, why not discard those feelings that are negative, and see the positive you gained instead? Learn from the good times, and choose the feelings that make you feel good, rather than those that drained and weakened you. Pat yourself on the back for having overcome the challenge, celebrate the passing of ‘bad’ experiences, and move forward with happy anticipation.