Yes, I did finally make it to Madrid for an incredible experience of the coaching retreat. No, I was not able to go for an entire day doing nothing. I did try. Sort of. I practiced Tai Chi, I went for a walk, and I worked on my book before finally heading out to the airport. Once I got there, I knitted and watched people while waiting for the plane. For me that was a very relaxing and laid-back day.
I find that I have a very hard time simply relaxing, just being. I have to be constantly doing, accomplishing something. It’s almost as if I feel that I wasted an entire day if I don’t have something concrete to show for my efforts.
Where did this come from? I used to be able to sit for hours, reading a book. I haven’t sat to read for more than 30 minutes at a time in the last 10 years. In fact, since our twins went to college, it’s almost like I’ve been making up for ‘lost time’, and trying to do as much as possible in the time left to me. Of course this is ridiculous; it doesn’t really matter how much I do, or make, or create. What matters is how I live my life, and how I impact those around me.
On the other hand, I get great joy out of doing, and find it very unnerving to simply sit and do nothing. I do Tai Chi to meditate, as I have never been able to stay still for traditional meditation. I also consider making pottery (or any form of art) a moving meditation for me; as I create a piece of art, I am totally engrossed in the present moment, out of time and detached from the rest of the world. That’s a pretty powerful meditation!
So, what it all boils down to, is that doing = being for me. As long as I can appreciate that, and as long as I have the energy to keep it up, I can continue to do, to make, to create. I will do so, ensuring that my own well-being continues to be high, and in the process, increasing the well-being of those around me.
Just think of me as the busy bee….